You Know What I Long For

You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. My heart beats wildly, my strength fails and I am going blind. My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance. Meanwhile, my enemies lay traps for me; they make plans to ruin me. They think up treacherous deeds all day long. But I am deaf to all their threats. I am silent before them as one who cannot speak. I choose to hear nothing, and I make no reply. Psalm 38: 9-14 NLT

There are times in our lives when we feel very lonely. It may seem if all our friends have deserted us. We may miss our family. Only those who are out to get us seem to be paying us any attention.

In these times, sometimes it is best to turn a deaf ear to those people. Don't listen to their threats. Don't say a word, either in anger or in frustration. Be silent. In fact, don't even hear what they have to say. Don't respond. Be as deaf and quiet as a rock.

God knows what we truly long for. God hears our pain and our silent prayers. God has not left or abandoned us. God can give us the strength to make it through.

You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. I am eternally grateful. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Copyright 2011 Amelia G. Sims

A burden too heavy to bear

O Lord, don't rebuke me in your anger! Don't discipline me in your rage! Your arrows have struck deep, and your blows are crushing me. Because of your anger, my whole body is sick; my health is broken because of my sins. My guilt overwhelms me – it is a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. I am bent over and racked with pain. My days are filled with grief. A raging fever burns within me, and my health is broken. I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. Psalm 38: 1-8 NLT

The psalmist goes back and forth between blaming God for all the suffering they are going through and blaming their own sins. Of course, the acknowledgment of sin is understood as being something God punishes. And this punishment or discipline has a bodily component. This isn't just feeling bad for something one has done. This is a complete loss of health due to the burden of sin and guilt.

What has this guy done?

Have you ever felt like your health is a reflection of your behavior? Have you ever blamed God for your visits to the doctor or your mental anguish? How did you get beyond those feelings?

There are consequences when we make bad choices. Sometimes our emotional health can take a toll on our bodies. But God wants to forgive us. God isn't looking for an excuse to beat us up over what we have done wrong. And we shouldn't blame God when we lack the fortitude to completely confess and accept God's forgiveness.

God, forgive me. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Copyright 2011 Amelia G. Sims